I know better than to fully trust these what-to-do-with-my-life epiphanies, but I had a set of realizations that startled me today.
- I’ve been in academia my whole adult life — 4 years at a New England liberal arts college, 1 at a big European university, and 1 working at and attending a big Boston university.
- If I went the grad school route, I’d be spending at least three (MA) and as many as seven (PhD) of the “best” years of my life in the library — from 25 until 28 or 32. (I’m including the year of prep that would precede an actual program.)
When I think of those things, spending the rest of my 20s reading, say, John Rawls feels incredibly unappealing. Especially considering that, despite being a Total Genius(tm), I think I’m a little too ADD to really succeed in academia, at least at this point in my life.
What do I really want to do with my 20s? Play music, that’s what. That’s what I was all about before college, and it’s only been through accidental circumstances that I stopped playing then.
I can envision a future where I play music for a few years, and somehow, tastefully, combine it with my more intellectual interests, and eventually go back to academia if it feels like the right move. Like Greg Graffin did. [Actually, he did both at once. Hmm...] But I don’t think you can do it the other way round.
Zach:
Listen to your heart. You are right on the money and sounds like you’re hearing clearly just waht you need to be doing. Trust that. Our inner guide is all we have.
blessings,
Adam
Hi Zach,
Why not do both, and pick academic subjects and questions that feel like making music, if that’s possible? In / if doing both, then scheduling … ? But then, where’s the freedom and bliss of making music in that? What instrument do you play?
Let’s communicate further about this. :)
Warm regards,
Scott
Just a thought before you make the decision – my newfound experience with grad school is that its not as boring, nerdy, or as all-consuming as I thought it would be. If I wanted to, I could do almost as much extra-curricular stuff as I did at Gordon. And I definitely think it beats a 40-hour job (which you may or may not need to support a music career), and the hours are flexible, and a TOTAL GENIUS like you could probably get funding (I am, and I am only a SORTA GENIUS TM). Also, being part of a large university means a lot of good benefits: health, library access, networking, etc. I don’t want to push you towards grad school – but just make sure that your understanding of it is accurate (although maybe your experience doing post-grad classes in Boston has already done this).
Good luck in your decision!
oh. that was me. erin kidd. not another erin.
Thanks, Adam.
Scott, I used to play piano, guitar and bass (in descending order of time/skill).
I would plan on “doing both” to some degree — but it’s a question of emphasis. A musician who happens to be philosophically inclined, or an academic who happens to play music?
Erin ;)
Thanks for clarifying that important fact — it’s not music vs. school, but job+music vs. school. (Or school+music.) That’s a tougher call.
Still, I have a few reasons I’m leaning towards job+music. One, I think I’d have a little more freedom that way. I’d be making more money, which would mean I could possibly drop down to part time or take time off.
Two, when I say “music” I really mean “traveling and communicating with people,” with music as the centerpiece, but including a lot of political/social energy as well (both in and outside the music). I feel a certain political urgency, and I worry grad school might limit my options more than a job might. (There are plenty of jobs, but if I quit a good program to go touring for a year it may be hard to get back into another one.)
And finally, I feel like I need to develop my own ideas (and learn how they fit into existing discourses) more before I go to school full time. Having some more unstructured time would help that happen, I think.
Do those make sense? I appreciate you helping me polish my brain…
Zach,
The great thing about art is that it’s non-linear. Unlike a job or school, or anything else really, there are no “timing” issues. The only problem time presents is with marketing and people – are you playing with the right people, at the right age, in the right place, for lightning to strike? Do you care about lightning striking? If not, the music is always there, regardless of how you spend the middle 8 hours of the day.
However, speaking as someone who jumped into work after undergrad, versus grad school or full-blown artistic endeavors, I have to say be careful in thinking that a job is easier to leave or that being in the workforce is more flexible than being in grad school – that level of flexibility is totally dependent on your lifestyle, and if you’re not careful that can change insidiously and quickly once a steady paycheck is coming in.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, whatever you do, don’t do it halfway. If you are staying out of school because you are trying to make records, then make records, and let the way you pay rent always come second. Get by on only what you need, and don’t get your true desires confused, and it might just work.
Hey!
Go for the music. Have fun. And if you really decide you don’t want to, you can always stop.